Moving On

Embrace the Unknown

Written by MaryEvelyn

Empty nesting

It feels like that time again.  Years ago when my oldest daughter was a soon to be graduating senior from high school a lady I briefly knew gave me a word of wisdom. 

Years earlier her daughter graduated from high school and was off to college.  She said that she felt lost as to what to do with her life.  She had put so much of her energy, imagination, hopes and dreams into rearing her daughter that now that her daughter was off making a life for herself she said she went into a state of depression.  Her point of telling me her story she said was due to that she didn’t want me to make the same mistake.  She told me to find something to do to keep my mind full of myself.  As I listened to this lady I could feel her pain and I could see that she was sincere, which perhaps is why I took time to think about what she said.  My son graduated the same year her daughter did and even though  my daughters were younger therefore still with me, I felt an emptiness when he left.  I put the feeling to the back of my mind and we continued on. 

Before my oldest daughter graduated, I got a part time job, started crafting at a small craft store and I took a refresher writing class.  I was still remembering what the lady had shared with me through her experience. And, of course, when my oldest daughter graduated from high school even with adding outside the home activities into my world, I felt the bang of emptiness. I had by now accepted that emptiness was going to be felt we each child going off to college and again I put it to the back of my mind.  

Although my daughters are four years apart I felt the need to prepare even more for my youngest daughter’s departure but I had to wonder, “are we ever truly prepared”.  

Four more years passed quickly and my youngest daughter was nearing high school graduation.  My mother had been failing in health most of that year and I just didn’t feel prepared to experience anymore emotional uneasiness.  I told my daughter that if she took a year off before going to college that she could choose anywhere to go, the choice was hers.  She promptly agreed and we’ve never looked back.  

Years later after my youngest daughter graduated from college and before moving away to get her masters out of state she came back home for about a year to spend some time with us.  We had just lost a dear member of the family a short time before so her presence in the home was right on time. 

While my daughter was home she decided that I needed something to occupy my mind after she left. In her mind,  a way for me to stay busy and occupy my mind was for me to have a dog.  So she started showing me pictures of dogs at our local shelter.  Before I knew it I was looking at dogs in shelters around town and surrounding areas.  Before Thanksgiving of that year we made a visit to one of the shelters and needless to say my heart went out to the saddest looking dog in the shelter. He was a three year old four pound Yorkshire terrier/chihuahua mix that was lying on his pillow in his cage shaking. We named him Moses and Moses was a part of our family for the next 13 years. 

I’m speaking of this because I have found that it’s true, we do all need something to keep us busy and moving along our way.  I have found wisdom and love sent to me in so many ways and through so many sources.

I am now feeling within me that another change is about to take place.  Perhaps, because once again my daughter has suggested that I start writing more and leaning into what I may love to do to feel fulfilled.  As I thought about what may fulfill me at this time, little did I know that I would think about baking.  But as it turns out, not only is baking a dessert a great way to make our house smell like a home but it is also a wonderful way to bring forth my creatively in a whole other way.  

Time will show me what lies ahead and I am sure to be ready with all the baking, blogging, framing, decorating that I am now doing in preparation for the change to come.  I realize that I have done many things over the years to keep myself busy and each and every adventure has been a stepping stone to something better.  Also, an experience I may not have had if not preparing for a change.  I may question change sometimes but it has always worked out well for me to the place that I have learned to embrace change and the unknown. 

Now, being a parent and grandparent myself these days I often reflect back on the days when my parents were facing the imminent changes in the household.  Whether they had prepared themselves or not, a change in the household was going to happen and they were going to get out of the way and let their children go and grow. 

For my baking experience this week, I decided to make a rum cake for our Sunday game night. I have found that putting many ingredients into a bowl and whipping it all together and then putting it into the oven thus producing a wonderful aroma and a great dessert to enjoy with the family, is allowing me to breathe in to what is now and enjoy what is now.   And knowing that…tomorrow will take care of itself. 

Homemade Rum Cake Recipe

This rum cake is made from scratch with a cake base topped with walnuts and suffused with rum syrup.

Ingredients:

For the cake:

1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

1 3/4 cups flour

1/4 cup cornstarch

4 teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup butter at room temperature

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

3 tablespoons of oil (canola)

1/2 cup canola oil

3.4 ounce instant vanilla pudding package

4 eggs

3/4 cup cup whole milk

3/4 cup dark rum

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Rum Syrup:

3/4 cup butter

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

1/4 cup water

pinch of salt

1/2 cup dark rum

Instructions:

Make the cake: Preheat the oven 325 degrees F. Grease and flour a standard bundt pan. Sprinkle the chopped walnuts around the bottom, (set aside)

In a bowl whisk together the flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt (set aside)

With an electric mixer on medium speed, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the flour mixture and the 3 tablespoons of oil, mix on medium-low speed for 1-2 minutes. Add the pudding mix, and mix again on medium-low speed until combined.

In a bowl, whisk together the eggs, milk, rum, and remaining 1/2 cup oil, and vanilla. Add the egg mixture to the dry ingredients and beat on medium speed until thoroughly combined, about 2-3 minutes. The batter will be thin.

Pour the cake batter into the prepared bundt pan and bake for 50-60 minutes. Check the cake by inserting a long toothpick in the center. Toothpick should come out clean.

Make the rum syrup:

When the cake comes out of the oven immediately pour about (2/3 cup)of the rum syrup over the bottom of the cake. Pour slowly so it has time to soak into the cake.. Let it sit for about 5 minutes.

Put the cake onto a serving platter.. Poke holes with a skewer on top of the cake.. Spoon, brush or pour slowly the remaining rum syrup over the cake allowing it to go into the holes and drip down the sides.

Allow cake to cool before serving.

Depending on how rich you want the cake to be you may not want to pour all of the syrup onto the cake. Also, if I bake this again I will use only half of the amount of oil. This cake turned out well in spite of being a tad heavy for my taste. The flavor was good and it was all eaten up in just two days, which is fast for us.

Enjoy!